Searching for the Path
From my cyber-mailbag!
The thing that I am worried about, is to leave the 'game'. I know that you were in venture capital for quite a while, and I would imagine that your 'game' was similar to my 'game.' It is very difficult to get into, you have to spend all sorts of time/energy staying in the game, but the rewards of the game are tremendous. Psychologically, mentally, and financially, this area can be extremely rewarding.
The classic trade-off! Mental stimulation, cash, status vs. time to
train, "recreate", etc. The trick is finding a way to achieve internal
balance while being able to support yourself. Realise you are asking a
compulsive addictive guy for advice on balance! 
I'll give you a brain dump.
I've found that happiness needs to come from the inside. Highly driven people need constant challenges or they become bored. I was very good at venture capital - even when I left, I was still the youngest partner in the firm. The financial opportunity cost of leaving was huge. Most people would say that I was mad to leave that kind of value on the table. If you know me, however, you would understand that in order to be true to myself, I had no choice. My needs are truly modest. When I talk about only needing my bike, my laptop and some trees around me, that's not bullshit, that's how I really feel. Not everyone can be satisfied riding their bike all day, breathing clean air, coaching athletes and writing little articles (that people may or may not read!).
How much do you need to be happy? Have you ever REALLY thought about it. I'm talking about devoting 30-60 minutes a day to quiet reflection over a period of three months. That's what I did before making my final decision. If you read some of my early stuff, you may be able to tell that I felt trapped in my perfect world. All I wanted to do was train and live outdoors. Instead, I had to make money, do deals, buy stuff, maintain appearances... all that was fun - I mean that, it was really fun. I loved it and was good at that Game, but it wasn't what I was meant to do. It wasn't my "path". I had this huge conflict going on inside myself. I was master of all I surveyed, but I was in the wrong scene. Life had delivered me everything that I was supposed to desire, yet all I really wanted was to find a nice house in the mountains surrounded by pine trees.
Well, this past summer, I found that house and spent four weeks there training, writing and starting my coaching business. My new life has its ups and downs but the downs are so tiny they are really flats. So I have ups and flats. ;-) Like Lance Armstrong says, I have good days and I have great days. Even when it is raining, I am dehydrated, out of cash and miles from anywhere., it still kicks the shit out of sitting in my big house wishing I was able to train. Now I am doing what I want everyday. I have total responsibility for my happiness and my survival. Life is what I make it. If it sucks then I only have to look in the mirror to find who's responsible. It's a life without excuses.
You'll see that I touched on that recently in something I wrote. Most people have a lot of excuses that they use to prevent themselves from achieving their full potential - his genes are better than mine, he's better looking, she'll never go for a guy like me - all negative, all blockages. When I took charge of my life, I was buried with support from people that I had never met. Look at all those people on the forum - they are THE BEST. I love them, they saved my life. It is so rewarding to be able to help them achieve their dreams and participate in their world. Those are the kind of people I was meant to work with. Honest, real people.
Making a major change should never be done quickly. I took my time, made sure everyone (friends, family, colleagues, boss, business partners) had plenty of notice and understood my rationale. My boss is a stand-up guy and supported me every step of the way. At first, most people looked at me through society's eyes - money, money, money, status, power... That's why I write so much. I had to get them to see my life through my eyes. They had to feel the joy that I know from racing. Between Canada and Hawaii, they got the picture. Some make jokes about me finding God, finding myself, saving the world... but that could be a way from protecting themselves from the truth. It's a rare person who is able to follow his/her dreams. I figure that I was given all these gifts in order to have the strength to leave them all behind.
OK, enough about me!
Lao Tzu says that "Contentment is Wealth". My father is far more "successful" than I. Yet with all that status, one of the people he envies is me. Neat, eh?! Why is that? Because I am able to do something that he never had the chance to try. He was 22 when I was born and 25 when my brother was born. It wasn't until a couple of years ago, that he was able to live his life the way HE wanted all the time. All during his 20s, 30s and 40s he had huge anger. Why? He never made time for himself. He felt that all he did was work for others. Of course, no one could see the source of his anger (even him) - he had all the trappings of success, but was always pissed off. Without knowing it, we helped each other figure out the right path for ourselves. A big catalyst was my divorce.
When I write "In pain there is truth", I am speaking from my core.
The Game - you are right. You work tremendously hard to get in the Game. To stay in the Game. To rise to the top of the Game. For what? What are you trying to achieve? What do YOU want out of the Game? Well, I realised that I was playing the Game so that I could live another life. Like you mention below, I was striving for financial independence, financial nirvana. But then what? What will you do then? Me, I'd get on my bike and ride around in the pine trees (or eucalyptus if you are in Aussie!). That hit me like a lightning bolt! There were all these people living MY life and they didn't have fancy cars, fancy houses or need to stay at the Four Seasons. Some of them may wish that they could, but that's only because they haven't arrived at Financial Nirvana and discovered that they are the same there as when they started.
Beck Weathers - the Dallas doctor that came back from the dead on Everest - summed it up well when he said. "I went to the Himalayas to discover something that was in my backyard all the time." Now you can take that many different ways. The way I like to take it is - I went searching for something. When I found it, I realised that it had been with me all along. For me, the solution to my dilemma had always been within me. I just wasn't taking responsibility for my own life. Once I took charge, great things started to happen.
Basically, how have you dealt with the removal from this type of lifestyle? I am rather nervous about leaving the high-speed lifestyle and entering the 'normal' lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, I will still be in the same field, I will just be working in an environment that doesn't move as fast and doesn't keep up to speed nearly as well. How did you finally come to the decision that you wanted to leave the venture capital field? Please don't say that you finally became financially independent.
There is only one thing for sure in this world. We are going to die! We are all on this journey to death. "And you may find yourself, in a beautiful house, with a beautiful car, with a beautiful wife. And you may ask yourself, God, how did I get here?" I love that song! [Even if I messed the lyrics a little!]
In my opinion, money is a false god. You probably read my piece on "Stuff". It is a store of value, of energy. It is very useful, but there are so many different ways to get money that, unless you are pretty unfortunate, you rarely need to make decisions based on money.
You know, I may have left the venture capital field, but I still get to use the same skills on a daily basis. I think that is important. Particularly relevant for your field as well. If you are a person who enjoys intellectual stimulation then you need to ensure an outlet for that side of your personality. Me, I like details and planning... that's why I make a good coach. I am constantly thinking about ways to improve my own performance as well as the performance of the folks I get to work with. I also have lots of little projects going at any one time. A good friend taught me the value of that.
So, while I may have left certain parts of my old life, I have brought the mental aspects that I enjoyed into my new life. That's something that you might want to consider. If you swap into a cruisey job, you might find yourself bored. Then again, you'll probably fill your life with other stimulation to stay active.
I could run on and on, but you probably get the drift. I bet I am starting to repeat myself.
The best advice I can give you is to take some time to yourself, write down your thoughts, reflect, really listen to your "little voice". My Path is not for everyone, it is just the right one for me - for now. In venture capital I was lucky enough to work with some of the most brilliant people I will ever meet. Real characters! Many of those guys were BORN for venture capital. They thrive in the environment. There is nothing in the whole world that they would rather do than deals. My Dad is one of those guys. A few years back I used to wonder why he didn't retire. Well, the reason is clear. Why retire when you are doing what you love, everyday.
Me, I had to change careers. However, I am happy to report that I am doing what I love, everyday.
gordo - 16 November 2000